Teenage White Elephants. My Favorite.

What kinds of little things do you think would be important to making a good movie? Like, a good movie.
I know a few.

Mm, how about character development? Yeah, I think that's a pretty standard expectation.

Okay, how about an exciting plot that is dynamic in some way, like you know... it builds, it changes, it reels you in. Yeah, I think that's one too.

Kay, how about this. How about at least some sense of being able to relate to the characters. Maybe they're passionate and purpose-driven... like you. Maybe they're developing in their personality... like you. Maybe they have a great sense of humour... like you.


Now, let's say that you sit down to watch a movie that has none of these elements, these "little things" that are so obviously crucial to any half-decent movie. That probably means you're watching a no-name, one-copy-in-the-video-store, low-budget film, eh?

Wrong-o.

What's more likely is that you're sitting in the theater (or in front of your pirated version) of yep, you got it, the Twilight saga. Little rant here on behalf of myself and my also-little-things-appreciative husband. Together, we wasted 2 hours (well, 6 really if you count all 3 in the series) on the following:

- A teenage girl with no personality. Geez, I wish I could have no personality and have 2 guys that want to marry me... while I'm like 17. I also wish that I could kiss them in front of each other - or curl up in a tent with the shirtless one while the pale-faced one watches. Yeah, that would be really really cool. Nope.
- A love story that goes noooowhere. nowhere. Again, there was the kissing in front of each other. The I-love-you's. Oh, and I-love-you-too's. The long melancholy gazes. True love at it's finest... (ugh, I actually puked in my mouth). What are they building their love for each other around? Shared experiences of some kind? A road trip or a games night or something?
- The white elephant in the room: why is every character in this movie revolving their very lives around this straight-faced, personality-less, 2-timing highschool... young lady? Oh, right, I forgot. She has nice blood.

The thing I'm looking forward to... is not the 4th in the series. No, no no.

The thing I'm looking forward to is those of you who've read the books telling me how it's not the way the Adams family is seeing it (that's me and my man for any new readers). How Stephenie Meyer has actually created this way-cool world in her novels, that people are all about because they've read the book and can fill in the pieces - pieces full of intrigue and character-shaping events and maybe even some humour. Because, really? Really?

Okay, I'm done.

Shoot... I forgot to chuckle.